Commenting at the Guardian
My first post for the Guardian blog, ‘Comment is Free’, is up. Do read 
.
It’s about something fairly talked about here, which is the whole point. I also chose to talk about this — yet again damn it — because nothing is changing. I think it’s time to start yelling in chorus.
Interestingly, I hadn’t anticipated a particular type of response, which is the ‘why is it our business?’ from some (clearly) British readers. When Jess from The Guardian wrote to me saying they want to highlight Indian issues, particularly because they also have Asian readers, I thought the logic was pretty sound. I also imagined that most educated readers are interested in global issues now that the world is shrinking yada yada. Anyway, thankfully, such comments are in the minority.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:49 PM
Your topic went to three pages of comments already, Anindita. That is highly successful for both a blog and the topic itself. It was good that you continued to engage your readers with some comments yourself. I’ve only seen that happen very occasionally on New Statesman but not usually on the Guardian.
One has to ignore the more disgruntled comments but they only serve to highlight the more positive interest shown by others. How to get this blogged extensively IN India, though? Well, this IS a good start as blogs like the Guardian’s are read around the English-speaking world and comments come from many sources.
Things are changing faster now and the economic crisis and global warming are putting pressure on everybody to find a better way for the future (I hope!). Once the old paradigms of nations vying against each other give way to mutual efforts for survival, things will become easier for change in relationships of the sexes, too.
October 27th, 2008 at 4:05 PM
Hi Anu – so good to see your post and of course the comments. I think the “she had it coming” refrain is prevalent all over the world (doesn’t make it trivial), hence people abroad see this more as a law and order situation, which I know you also think it is. It’s more Dikshit’s comments that are demeaning and take away from the seriousness of our lack of security.
The more I think of this the more I agree with one of your retorts – it’s easier to better security than to change mass opinion. The difference I see is this. Last week I was in an upscale club with male colleagues who commented that all the girls were so slutty i.e. wearing short skirts. Of course I went on a tirade and asked why what they wore, even if it was to seek attention was slutty. It took a while for this guy to see my point but even so it’s very black and white. At best I could convince them that how they behaved and not what they wore was what made them slutty. Although I know that in itself is flawed (I don’t endorse any behavior as slutty unless sex is being paid for), it was the only way to make them “see the light” so to speak.
Long story short the thing that strikes me is this – in the west, comparatively, men don’t act on their misogynist/ sexist opinions. They speak them, they sure as hell think them but they don’t have the gall to act and society has conditioned them into some respect for the opposite sex. In India the lax security and general dismissal of sexism gives men the balls to act on their impulses (?). This is a gross generalization of course but my feeling is that attitudes are no better in the West. But the law and order situation protects women enough to keep this type of crime in check.
Do you agree with any of this? I write a long comment because I have worked hard to simplify for men (all in my life willing to listen) what sexism is. Shockingly it’s hard for them to comprehend, so the simplifications. Probably flawed but a start. Maybe a post on Ultraviolet on how to speak to men about sexism?
October 31st, 2008 at 7:23 AM
Well said. I can only imagine what the comments would have been like in an Indian newspaper.
November 14th, 2008 at 11:19 AM
Douglas: Thank you for the comment…yes, I’m hoping that highlighting such issues in places like Guardian will also provoke some comment in Indian newspapers, though of course I don’t presume that one article will do it.
Nits: You bring up something very interesting. In fact, someone wrote to me after reading this piece saying that eve teasing is alive and well in Britain as well. I tend to be faintly cynical about the ‘change attitudes’ approach as a one-point solution because I’ve also come across men who are ‘educated’, ‘modern’ etc but still harbour misogynistic sentiments. Does this mean that it’s an intrinsic trait in (some / most) men? Disturbing. But I don’t see why women should suffer for it. Stricter policing may fix some of the problems, though admittedly not all.
Sad to hear about your experience–it is hard to make men (and even women) see that ‘slutty’ is really a nonsensical word. Either you have sex for money or you don’t. Sigh.
November 14th, 2008 at 11:20 AM
WMWC: Hmm…that’s an interesting, somewhat nervous-ing thought.