Write like a man
…is what I do. According to two different web programmes that supposedly deduce your gender from the way you write. I submitted a blog post and the results were quite unabashedly male. I’ve been thinking about this because I have to review Interior Decoration which is an anthology of poetry by Indian women. It makes one think about the femaleness of writing and so on.
In other news, I’ve been adopted by cats. To be more exact, two cats (a male and a female) came into the house one morning, and sneaked into a cupboard. She went into labour and two hours later, Dobby was slapped by a white paw when he went sniffing to see what the odd smell was. He went hysterical. So did I.
A, who is an expert on cats unlike the two of us, was summoned. He found one grey-white Tommy in there and promptly escorted him out. We came back into the room. Dobby went sniffing again. Another white paw emerged, and then a fully-formed, much-bristling mother cat. There was a litter of three in there, behind my lovely collection of bags.
We could hardly put the babies out in the cold and rain so we realised we’d have to court danger for a while (sworn enemies under one roof and all that). We bundled mother and children into an old suitcase and made place for them upstairs in the TV room. There was one tiny incident which ended with Dobby getting his face swiped. He was taken off to the vet for Tetanus shots and thought he was being punished for guarding the house from enemies. All morning, he lay around the house looking bewildered at what life had tossed him.
Now that door stays closed, we guard their separation like hawks (or parents or zoo keepers), and we have stopped watching movies. The universe makes choices for you.
After six weeks, when they have stopped nursing, we will put some or all up for adoption. I say some because I’m harbouring tiny hopes of keeping one of them if I can persuade the grown-up dog and the child cat to be friends. The adults don’t have much of a chance since they started off so badly. But isn’t she cute?
Meanwhile I’m trying to stay loving but detached and write my second collection. Like a man, I’m told.
August 11th, 2010 at 2:57 PM
The part where you went from beautifully describing how cats and dogs have been sworn enemies but maybe their offsprings can be taught otherwise, to and “awwww” kinda “isn’t she cute?” question – I declare you write like a woman, web based programs notwithstanding!
All the best with the cats! I remember Ads trying very hard to convince me to keep a cat just because I didn’t want to keep a dog alone at home!
August 12th, 2010 at 11:58 PM
Aww aww aww aww aww. LOVE LOVE LOVE. There is nothing I love more than cats except cats and dogs in the same house. Please please don’t turn them away. Where will they go? Whatever will they do? Oh I wish I was your neighbour right now. Or your husband so I could live with you. Or wife, so you can keep writing like a man.
August 17th, 2010 at 10:51 AM
@Saurabh: That’s like a woman? You think?
Thanks! We’re going to need the wishes. Dobby is still being fiercely against the idea.
@GirlontheBridge: Come, be my wife.
August 29th, 2010 at 12:07 AM
“awwww” kinda “ sooooooooooooo cute..
September 6th, 2010 at 2:00 PM
@Asad: The cats, I’m assuming. And not the fact that I write like a man?
September 17th, 2010 at 8:18 AM
I love this post. Not just what you wrote, but mainly the way you wrote it. It’s amazing.
I don’t like cats. Or animals in general, actually. A cat got into my apartment a couple of days ago and refused to leave. My roommate and I maintained a distance of at least 5 feet at all times and did our best to make it leave by stamping on the ground. The only response we got was a very disdainful look (once). Then the cat completely ignored our existence and went on playing with the crap it found on our floor.
We finally made it leave by luring it outside with a bowl of milk.
September 17th, 2010 at 8:19 AM
Oh and I love that you’ve named your dog Dobby. It’s an awesome name.